Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in troll_speak's LiveJournal:

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Monday, May 12th, 2008
9:11 pm	:) So how the stuffing heck are we all?? I am okay. Still shaking off this flu thing. Irony is, I have to go get my flu shot tomorrow in the afternoon. I don't know if it is due to the flu but I have a constant feeling of pressure in the lungs and a pressure pain. On to better things though. More notes typed up. I came across some ideas I had forgotten about, but when I read them, it is like, Oh yeah, I remember you and then I come up with some more ideas for the idea. It is like finding old friends or old toys that remind you of childhood fun or something like that. I am just watching some movies Deb tagged for me. I just watched Stardust. I did enjoy it I must admit. If I remember rightly, I did read the Neil Gaiman story a while ago. I don't think I have a copy of it. I will have to track it down. You guys are in trouble for not recommending I check out the movie though. Tsk Tsk. I am going to watch D.O>A for some mindless viewing. Then I am going to watch The Bee Movie since I have yet to see it and then I am going to watch The Animatrix again as I did enjoy the stories in that. I have some CSI, CSI Miami and CSI new York to slip in between the movies and some Death Note and more Bleach. Deb is going to try and tag me some more movies and anime to watch which I am looking forward to. I have some X-men Evolution toons coming as well as two seasons of Jackie Chan Adventures to come that I have not seen. Hopefully I shall be going to group again on Wednesday and shall be picking up some raw products to turn into replica enchanted swords. I have my fingers crossed that I don't have an adverse reaction to the flu shot this year like I did last year. off to watch movies I go. love you guys. Hugs for those who may want them. the troll (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 11th, 2008
12:36 pm	whoops..... I keep forgetting that I have not updated for almost a week. Whoops. Now, let's see, what would be new?? Not much actually. heheheheh I finally got to make it to a group session for the anxiety. It was not as bad as I was dreading of course. I am glad I did the trip. Deb and I checked out some of the shops in the town where group is being held. Found that I can actually get new comics of a variety of titles, a whole heap of magazines I want to get. We also found a cool little shop and Deb bought me an Orc Sword from there. First time I have ever seen one. Now that I know we can get them, we shall be picking up some more to augment and make look like magical blades etc. Also found a bunch of other stuff I want to buy for Deb, for Xander and for moi. We had MacDoogles for lunch. I had to get a few cheeseburgers and some fries to dip into a chocolate sundae. Hopefully this week, which is pay week, we shall be going to group again on Wednesday and we will be able to pick up the stuff we wanted. I have two large boxes and two brief cases full of notes that I am finally going through and typing up onto the pc. Everything from tale ideas, tech and weapon ideas, creatures and magic ideas and ideas for work already started. It is going to be a pain in the butt to type all these up but it should make things easier. I should be able to knock over more of the Epic once the notes are typed up and I can access them on the 'puter instead of having to go through all the note books and paper. I have been watching series one of Bleach, just got series one of Death Note to watch and just watched the SLayers motion picture last night. I am getting a whole heap of anime and just general cartoons to have going in the background while I catch up on drawing etc. I am so looking forward to getting a laptop so I can work infront of the tv. Not much else to report I guess. back to typing I go. the troll (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 5th, 2008
11:36 am	hola... I guess the pic on my last post scared people away, lol. Ah well. Deb and Xander made it back home last night and Deb picked up some chicken on the way home so i actually got to see them last night instead of today. I will be going up later today I hope. I am waiting around to see if the lady I see for my anxiety is coming today. We have been playing phone tag the last week but she missed some of the messages I left so I am not sure what is going on. Just wrote a new weird one shot short tale. I will type it up and post it on here later. Did some drawing last night and came up with an idea for a new long form fantasy series, lol. I am kind of shooting myself in the foot with these new ideas. I am going to have so much to do. I guess if it stops me planning world domination again, it is a good thing. (though no one remembers the last time I took over the world and was Emperor of All due to the fact I wiped eveyone's minds the world over ater the Great Uprising. You just try and remember, I bet you cannot.) I am going to play some Sacred. Running around with a level 55 dwarf is fun. the troll (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
3:13 pm	:) The anniversary celebrations went well. We also ended up buying a good bottle of sake and a good bottle of tequila. Last night we did a family night, ate together, watched a movie and I actually stayed over. The reason behind all that was it was the last night that we would have a chance to do that for a while again. Daemon is going back to Melborne again. In fact, Deb and Daemon and Xander are there right now, having left this morning. I won't see Deb and Xander until maybe Monday night. I am feeling pretty good today. Emotionally and physically. I did two new heroes for Charlie 9, indluding one of alien origins and one of human origins. Okies, I don't know if anyone remembers me saying that I captioned a pic that is going to get me sent to sci fi writer's Hell or some creative Purgatory, but I actually managed to upload it so I am going to post it. Not everybody will get it. I don't know if I would call it a joke, but it made me laugh when I came up with the concept. It could be classed as offensive, but it is not something that could classically be called offensive by classical standards. Ah well, here goes. I will wait for the portal to Hell to open. One of my fav sci fi writer's will be rolling around in his grave due to this and I apologise to him. I am going to be bouncing around the house for the next couple of days. I bought myself a huge amount of chicken to eat. Some thigh fillets, thigh on the bone and drum sticks. Plus a container of sliced chicken breast and fresh vegies and a nice sauce to do a chicken stir fry. I have been getting worse with my reaction to cooked red meat again so I will be only getting it fresh and having it raw or serviche(sp). Next pay I shall try and tag some decent fish and other sea food for a change. I do actually eat fairly healthily as a general rule when I remember to eat lol. Okies, I am going to bounce around for a bit. Before I go though I wanted to post that I am going to be doing something that might appeal to those who like fantasy work, larpers and gamers. i am going to making a range of replica swords and weapons, staffs and wands and amulets etc that will look like enchanted items from games, magical weapons from fantasy work etc. These will be going into my treasures from the troll's cave shop. I am working on a prototype that will be a black runesword. It will be set with red "blood gems' and will be something like Elric of Meliborne's soul drinking rune sword Stormbringer from the classic Michael Moorcock novels. They will be hand modified and designed and all that. What i am aiming for is something that you can hang on your wall, prop up in the corner of a room, wear for LARPing days and medieval fairs etc. Something that will draw the eye. I will be doing them so they are painted with luminecent paint so the runes or gems glow in the dark. I may even be doing custom ones, so if you play a character in a game and would like to have a replica of their weapon or a "ring of protection' etc you can have one. I am also going to make stuff like goblin skulls out of clay or homuncli summoning statues (of course only replicas, i don't want anyone sueing me because something ate the souls of their loved ones.) those kind of things. You see, i would love myself to have things around my place that look like you would find them in the lair of a dragon or on the shelves of a wizard's work room etc. Okies, wandering off now. the troll ps and I don't know why I am doing this today but here goes... (don't be too scared) ( This_be_moi ) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 1st, 2008
3:56 am	:) "Rome was not built in a day, but parts of it were. So if you can only do bits, do bits and it all adds up to something larger." Sorry, i just love that quote. So today is Deb and my 9th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary dear heart. Year the Ninth. Nine years of marriage, A mere step away from a decade. We have seen so much together, We have been through so much together. Each passing day I love you more and more, Every passing day shows me how lucky I am. Nine years of marriage we have share, And heres to many, many more. May our love last forever, For many more years to come. Lawrence Cottam 2008-05-01 I always do an anniversary poem so i thought I would post it. I write so much poetry, but I don't post a heck of alot of them. I have posted some before though. Also, as i said I would, here is the newest weird, one shot short tale. Easy Come. Everyone had heard the tales of the hero. He robbed from the rich and gave to the poor. Poor people hoped that he would pick them to bestow the stolen bounty upon. Every rich person lived in dread that he or she would be chosen by the hero and lose all they valued. When I found the chest of gold on my doorstep one morning, I knew he had chosen me. I was gob smacked. The chest was filled with gold and silver and looking at it I could think of plenty of things that I could spend this newly gotten wealth upon. Firstly, I bought myself a large, new house. I bought a house that did not leak, a home where the winter wind did not shriek through the walls. Next I bought myself new clothing, several sets that actually were dyed with more colours than the usual dung brown and threadbare clothing I had worn for most of my life. I bought myself all that I had never had. I bought myself all that I had ever desired. For the first time in just over four decades I was actually happy. I put on weight, actually having food to eat and never missing a meal. I became a man of leisure. I bought all of those places that had denied me employment over the years. I was comfortable. Money came in from those new businesses I now owned. I had more than I had ever dreamed of having coming in on a daily basis. Riding through the forest in the comfort of my lavish coach, I was travelling to the palace of the King. My wealth offered me chances I had never had before. I was on my way to my first royal feast, to sit surrounded by others of wealth, position and influence. When the coach lurched to a stop I was not really worried. I had guards and I was protected. When the arrow pierced the side of the coach, the sharp point now more than an inch from my head I became more than a little worried. I had never seen an arrow with a green shaft before. The door of the coach was pulled abruptly open and I felt many hands upon me. I was dragged from the comfort of the coach and drooped heavily to the forest floor. I looked around and saw under the light of the flickering coach lamps that a ring of men and women clothed in green surrounded me. I found myself stripped to my under garments and all my jewellery were taken. I sat there dumb founded as it happened so quickly. A tall figure in green bowed mockingly to me, taking off his feathered cap. “We thank you for your kind donation. We rob from the rich and we give it to the poor.” And with those words they were gone. I sat there, dirty, poor and cold. Again. Lawrence Cottam (2008-05-01) Today Deb and I go out, maybe buy some food we don't normally eat. I want to either pick up a bottle of Drambue or Frangelico. I also want to pick up a lobster and some prawns. I want to cook some raviolli and make a cream sauce and put in some lobster meat and prawns, put some smoked salmon on the plate, put the hot raviolli on top and pour the lobster and prawn cream sauce over the top with a spoon full of salmon roe on top. If i don't do this, i may take Deb to a resurant for lunch. I should be trying to sleep, but am bouncing around. I watched a good movie tonight called Liberty Heights. A movie about a Jewish family in America during the time of intergration in the school system. It was an awesome movie. Funny and moving. One bit that made me laugh for a good fifteen minutes was when the teenage hero comes down stairs on Halloween night to go to a part dressed as Hitler. I just could not stop laughing. What added to this was his father telling his mother to put the furer on the phone. The kid walks over, takes a breath and then says "Ya." Another bit that got to me was when his older brother has to go and be a witness in a trial. He is asked if he swears to tell the truth, the whole truth etc in the name of god and he says No. It just cracked me up so much. I have always believed that swearing on the bible in court is wrong. What happens if some one does not believe in God or is of a different religion?? I know i would have a problem with that. I have been doing a lot of writting again. Beteen working on adult tales for the book Congress and coming up with three quite large story ideas in the past two nights, I came up with twenty odd alien super heroes for my Charlie 9 story and a fifth tale idea featuring this character Charlie 9. I have also been doing some new Strange Days pics. I also have quite a few more of these to draw and a bunch of Bedlam Boy to do as well. They are not going to be doing surgery on Daemon's leg at the moment, but if he gets into pain with it or cannot walk on it etc, he is to go back and see the surgeon. Urgle burgle the nurgle hurgle snurgle. And you can quote me on that. I have been catching up on every one's journals. I have been quiet on the commenting front I must admit. Some times I cannot think of anything to say and then on others I waffle on, hi jacking people's journals with my long comments. Hmmmmn. I cannot really think of what to say. There is so much I could talk about but getting things out does not happen some times. here's a thought, what do you guys want me to talk about??? okies, i am going to go wander off. Before I forget, i watched the movie Chaos today. Jason Stratam, Ryan Phillipe and Wesly Snipes. I did enjoy it. Quite a lot actually. Feeling much love today. i guess that is why I am bouncing around. I was actually mock opera singing while I was cooking. I made myself some baby potatoes, fried these with sweet chilli sauce, poured in some tomato pasta sauce and some tinned salmon. It turned out nice and tasty. I fried some manderine slices in juice with vanilla sugar, cinnamon and ginger and stirred in a couple of spoonfuls of black berry jam. I put this mix in the freeze until it became semi hard and ate it with a spoon. Quite nice all up. okies, really wandering off now. the troll (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
3:31 am	hey ya guys.... Sorry for the bleargh post the other day. I decided to leave it though I kept it with the comment block on. I am feeling better today. I got to spend a day with Deb had dinner with the boys so that was good. I am still plagued by doubts about certain things but I am trying to be optimistic. Once again I am not going to go into details about what laid my so low and all that. Tonight I worked with some air dry clay I bought a couple of weeks back. I don't have any clay working tools so I did not make a Bedlam Boy this time. Instead I made a weird little bug eyed alien baby face as a test. I will be picking up some tools soon and I will not be working at night in autum with clay as it just does not respond well in the cold and with my arthritis in my hands, I cannot get my hands warm enough to work the clay properly and my hands end up aching fiercly. So day time clay work only methinks. Deb runs Daemon to see the surgeon tomorrow. It is a big trip. i will not be going with them. Less distractions for Deb that way, heheheheh. Hopefully, and I have my fingers crossed about this as Daemon's surgeon may want him to come back on Thursday, Deb and I will be able to have some of the day together on Thursday for our wedding anniversary. Tomorrow I will post the year the ninth poem I wrote. (each year we have been married I have written an anniversary poem. Don't worry though, i don't only right love poems for Deb on just that time of a year. She inspires poetry in me many, many times in a year) I will also type up and post another weird, one shot really short story on here. I have this weird pic caption thing I have to post too but have not been able to upload it to photobucket due to being on dial up. This is a weird thing that when others see it is going to get me sent to sci fi writter's prison or some purgatory, heheheheheh. I still look at it and shake my head and cackle manically. Others may not find it funny ofcourse. Deb got the gag though which makes me happy. If only one person finds my work amusing, I am happy. I have so many new pics I want to post but have not been able to upload any yet. When things settle down at the family house appointment wise i will hijack the broadband again. You have all been warned. It dropped down to zero temp wise last night here and seems to be almost that cold this morning so off to climb under the blankets I go. I shall try and get my hands and feet to change back from blue to a more normal skin tone, heheheheh. the chilled troll (Comment on this)
Monday, April 28th, 2008
7:40 pm	doubts I am doing something with this post I don't often do. I am disabling comments. I am doing this because I did not make this post to get comments, just to put something down that is bothering me. Today started off being a good day. I was happy as I had done a lot of writting, inked up a couple of new pics. Then it turned to shit. For hours I have just been curled up in bed trying to sleep between crying and raging. I am not going to go into details. Simply put, some one who I love dearly said something that has made me doubt everything in my life. I have been doing all I can to be more stable, taking steps to being a better person etc step by step, but today I feel like my legs have been cut from under me and I have been hurled twenty steps backwards. I am doubting myself, my life, relationships, everything. For the first time in a long time I actually feel angry. I also feel heart broken and depressed. filled with these feelings and these doubts and I am supposed to be celebrating my ninth wedding aniversary on Thursday. The way i am feeling now, I think that is going to be a non event. I am just going to crawl back into bed and try and wish the world away. I'll probably delete this post when I get back up.
6:57 am	yum yum Cheesy chilli beans and mince with salt crackers for breakfast. The food of the gods, ehhehehehe. Perfect breakfast for a cold winter morning. I will have a much larger update for ya all later. the troll (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 25th, 2008
12:11 am	I am Spartiarse, no, I am Spartiarse...... Weeeee, fevers can be such fun... I finished reading the last book in the David and Leigh Eddings Dreaming Gods series this morning. Now, I have read every series and book of theirs that I have been able to get my hands on and have loved them all. Now, I enjoyed this series too, but the ending left me so very sad and disappointed. It left me bummed. Ah well. Tonight I will be reading some Michael Moorcock and hopefully this will not leave me bummed. See, I really have nothing to post about. It was either I talk about reading material or I post- Still sick, not left bed often. I am going to go wander off now. the troll (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008
5:27 pm	urgle burgle...... So I did not make the group session today. This time it was not my fault. Though I did not sleep and the flu has progressed, this time it was Deb that pulled the pin. She did not sleep and as the driver she was not up to getting us there. I talked with the lady I see and I shall be seeing her on next Thursday instead of the usual Monday. I could go to group next Wednesyday but Deb cannot drive me as she needs to take Daemon to see his surgeon about his knee and she might be putting him back on the train to Melbourne but that has not been decided yet. Me feeling very crap. Since I usually run around with a low grade fever in my day to day life, the flu fever is a lot higher so I am spending most my time spinning out and wanting to pass out. Okies, going to go lay down now. I have tried to catch up with every bodies' journals, but the words won't stop bouncing around on the screen. the troll (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
4:42 pm	icky sick...... I am coming down with something in the nature of a cold or flu which sucks since I am supposed to be getting my flu shot this week, lol. Speaking of medical things, sort of, I got the results back from the big blood test I had before the Sydney trip. Tumor markers are fine, kidney function awesome, liver function down a bit but acceptable and the best result was my blood sugar was down to such acceptable levels that the doc said my diabetes is fully under control and to continue doing what I have been doing. Woohoo. Okies, on the creative front, I have done the second large canvas Bedlam Boy pic. It turned out well. I also did a larger canvas work of one of my dragons. All up, uncoiled, the dragon would be over a metre long and I individually did each scale and colored each one individually. This is the first time I have donw a colored dragon and it looks like it could leap off the canvas. I will have to take a photo of it. To finish the night, I did a mix media work that was a water colored abstract painting with a short four line poem done over the top. I will have to take a photo of this too. Now, even though I am feeling crap, I am still going to the first group session tomorrow. The appointment is at 10am and goes to 1pm. We will have to leave about 8am to get there on time though. I will admit I am nervous as hell. Back to the creative front, I managed to tag a kilogram of air dry clay so Bedlam Boy is going to exsist as a three dimensional figure soon. And yes I will post pics of how he turns out. The clay is brown so I will be painting the finished work white and going over certain details black. okies, I am going to go sneeze a heck of a lot more, though not by choice and see what this fever makes me hallucenate. it is the mucus that binds us. the phelghmish troll. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
2:58 pm	let's do this thing..... I am in a good mood. I know, big shock to most people. I had my meeting with the lady who is helping me deal with the anxiety and all that. I am taking a HUGE step next Wednesday and going to a group threapy session. Not sure how I feel about this yet, but I am sure I will get super nervous as it gets closer to the time. I like this lady. She is easy to talk to. She herself was once someone plagued with anxiety and still gets overly anxious but has learned to process it. So it is good dealing with someone who knows where you are coming from and not someone who gets their knowledge from a book. I will be givign the "Cognitive Threapy" a go. She is not here to help me deal with the shit in my past, just to help me work out how to deal with the anxiety without having a meltdown, but she is going to be looking into finding someone for me to do talking threapy with and is reasearching "Narrative Threapy". I guess I have started doing this myself on here a few times. I guess I will be doing some larger posts about the things that made me the dehumanized, anti social, depressed, overly anxious, highly phobic,overly cynical, chronic insomniac that the world has come to know and love, heheheheheh. I like this lady also because she does not judge me on the facts of what I wear, that I have piles of movies in my loungeroom, books everywhere, a massive amount of different toy and replica swords, I sleep on my loungeroom floor though there are two bedrooms in this place, the fact my fingernails on my left hand were painted grey, those kind of things. She actually likes the work i do, having liked some of the tale Ideas i have bounced off her, the cartoonish stuff of mine she has seen. She even wants me to e-mail her some of my short, weird one shot short stories and some of the finished cartoon stuff. One of the reasons for my happiness and no, I was not actually being sarcastic about that, was the fact i came up with a new story Idea. When I say story, I mean a new epic sized long form work. I did twenty pages plus on the idea. As you would have guessed from reading this journal, I am a fan of both fantasy and sci-fi works. (and a whole heap of other genre). Early the other morning, I came up with this huge tale idea of doing a combined fantasy sci-fi genre story. It explains in a sci fi way why there are the different races like elves, dwarves, gnomes, orcs etc, and how dragons came to be. It looks at sci fi weapons and tech being thought to be magical artifacts like enchanted swords, rings of protecting and all that. War droids that are thought to be golems, all those kind of stuff. I am pleased with it. The concepts appeal to me and Deb loved them. (not bad for someone who is not a fan of fantast work, lol) So though I have a huge amount of stufff to work on already, I am happy to have another huge thing in the to do pile. I also came up with some new sketch ideas. I am also happy because Deb, Xander and I curled up on Deb's bed at the family home last night and watched Cloverfield together. I enjoyed it. Deb and Xander did too. I loved the creature and the fact it dropped little ones. I was hoping though that they would throw in the concept that the bite of the little ones would be more than poisonous. I was hoping it would either be a mutating poison, changing the victims into hybrids of the creatures and humans which would have been fun or would have had a zombifying quality. Nothing like throwing a few more problems at those who have to survive a giant monster attack. Deb and I were going to watch Perfect Creature, the New Zealand done vampire movie, but instead we went through the archives of the Penny Arcade comic and cacked ourselves silly. I ended up getting back here just past 1:00am. I am going up there tonight so Deb and i can watch Perfect Creature. What is also making me happy is the fact that Deb.Xander and I are going out for lunch tomorrow. A chinese feed methinks. I also get to pick up my Queen Mabb statuette and maybe a tin of Yugio cards for Xandermoo and I will get to grab a couple of new canvas so i can some new large Bedlam Boy work. Okies, back to Cloverfeild though. I have been pondering the facts of three different monster movie type of movies. You have your psycho Jasonesque Freddylike movies where victims are killed in their ones or twos at a time, sometimes more, then you have your Cloverfeild/Godzilla type moonster mvoies where you have your large scale destruction and large body count, then you have your zombie Dawn of the Dead type monster movies, many deaths from human sized killers. Now, I have been toying around with the idea of a tale that has a Jasdonesque kind of killer, that is capable of Godzilla like damage and bodycounts whose killings cause those who are killed to come back as zombie like creatures. A killer that as he or she kills, absorbs the life force and energy of the victims, making him/her more stronger and powerful, making the killer capable of bringing down a building or scorch earthing a whole heap of victims. The lose of lifeforce causes the victims to becaome zombie like beings that kill others which causes their life force to go into the killer too. I was sort of aiming for a kind of super soldier type program going horribly or in the case of one of the twisted minds that came up with it, horribly right. You could have large scale military attacks against the killer as well as those small groups of ballsy survivors, battling the zombie like things and trying to take the killer out on their own. I have an outline of the idea with some more detailed parts filled in. Let's see, on the gaming geekdom front, I beat Dark Messiah, going the evil route, but deciding not to set my demonic god father free, but ruling instead. (think i have father issues maybe??). I have also been playing Sacred alot. I have a level thirty odd dwarf who is kicking the major booty. I have also been playing X-men legends 2, running around at the moment with a group that has Magneto, Storm (or Cyclops, I cannot remember who I traded out), Bishop and of cause Wolverine. I have not gotten too far through this but will be attacking it soon. This morning I finished reading The Crystal Gorge by David and Leigh Eddings and have started the following book in the series. That is one of the books I bought from Sydney finished. I got my new business cards for Treasures From the Troll's Cave. I will have to post what they look like soon. I have a huge amount of pics to scan and will be hi-jacking the family broadband soon to do a few dozen pic posts in the near future. Daemon is supposed to be coming back home from Melbourn next weekend. We will see if he keeps his word this time of if he lies to his sister and screws over Deb again like he did when he was supposed to come home when Xander did. Wow, I really ramble when you guys let me huh?? I shall return. I love you crazy lj friends. the happy troll. Dragons Passing. How liken to the Gods are the dragons? These noble beasts of a firey nature. How these terrible lizards do inspire, These creatures held now within the artist's mind. Guardians of the old magics they are, Keepers of the old ways forgotten by most. Sharp of tooth they always be, They be sharper by half of mind. Great wisdom resides within their horned heads, Knowledge of the ages lies behind scaled brows. Hunted and hated the dragons have always been, Unjustly slain by ignorance. Fated to become naught but legend, The dragons no more fly the skies. Banished to realms not our own, The dragons have gone their way. Never again will we see their flashing scales, Never more to hear their roaring song. All should feel sadness at their passing, All should be at grief. With the last dragon's passing all magic will be lost, The world will be without sparkle. What races will also depart at the dragon's passing? What other mythic beasts shall become no more? When dragons become no more than a writer's fodder on what will we dream? What visions will fuel our fantasies when the dragon's time is done? Will we still dream of flying? Will we still dream dragon dreams? Lawrence Cottam(2008) Sinning Skin. Skin to skin, Let the sinning begin. It is hard to be an angel, When the devil is on your mind. When it is lust that drives you on, Love is left behind. Passion is the fire that burns, For that which you most desire, For that you can not have but yearn. With pounding hearts, Apprehensions are put aside, And the caressing starts. Soon you will be sweating and moaning, As you are gripped in the heat of the moment, And you are writhing and groaning. With bodies entwined, And breathing both as one, You relax and unwind. Climax is within reach, And soon you will be both sated, You will be both without speech. Enjoy what you are able, Steal the moments you can, Be it on bed, in car or on table. Sex can be fun, At anytime of the year, Under the light of the moon or the sun. To have and to hold, And may you always have the one whose attention you crave, Be you young, be you old. Lawrence Cottam(2008) © Current Mood: artistic Current Music: George. W. Bush- Give Peace a Chance (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 11th, 2008
1:18 pm	bugger..... My neck threw me a curve ball in the early hours of the morning that left me unable to move for quite some time. I managed to get the pain down to a dull shriek and was able to move much to the relief of my bladder. I cannot get to see my doctor until sometime next week. (the wonders of a small country town) If the neck continues down the track it is following though, I will be getting Deb to take me to the hospital this weekend. With the ideas I came up with on the Sydney trip, there is so much I wanted to write and to draw so this neck pain has come at such a bad time. I am tempted to wedge myself against my armchair and attempting to at least get a drawing or two done. I am okay if I don't turn my head too much and if I hang my head, it does not hurt as badly as trying to keep my head upright. going to drag myself off to lay down again for now as moving tends to sap the strength and leave me feeling exhausted. I so want to lose myself in reading the new books I have, but cannot get comfy enough to do so. bleargh. the troll (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 10th, 2008
1:36 pm	oh by all that is unholy......... Why the heck do I have to have an abnormal vertebrae in my neck???? I don't know if it is due to the colder weather or due to the fact that it may be degenerating, but my neck is getting so bad. Last time I could not turn my head, Deb convinced me to check myself into the hospital. Today the neck is much worse than that. I am sitting here just able to reach my arms up to the keyboard. I cannot turn my head. My shoulders are all knotted due to the neck pain and there is a massive amount of pain and pressure pushing against the base of my skull. Every time the neck twinges, I cannot feel my hands and feet and when a big one hits, I cannot feel my whole legs or lift my arms. Deb dropped off some pain killers so I am going to munch down a few of these and see if they help. If this has not eased tomorrow, I am going to get Deb to drag me to the docs or the hospital to see if they can give me a shot of some muscle relaxant and pain killer like they did last time. My fingers, if I could feel them, will be crossed that this gets better. I will return. Oh and for those questioning why I am sitting up with such pain, I had to try and do something as I was going out of my head. the troll (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008
11:21 am	here we go.... First off, like others have posted, I am bummed to hear about the passing of Charlten Heston (sp). I did enjoy most of his work. Now, what have I been up to?? Actually, not much, lol. Sunday I was over at the family house doing some carpentry. Yes, I can do this, believe it or not. We lost the carpets due to the rain coming in through the roof, so the floorboards had been revealed. There were two spots under the carpet that when you stepped on them, they flexed badly and your foot sank. We found that this was due to the guy who worked on the house, before we bought it, had replaced floor boards with chip board. I think other countries call this stuff paste board. It is the wood that is made by gluing particles of wood together. Not the most ideal thing to replace a floor board with. I ended up ripping the two boards out, replacing them with timber Deb picked up and on Monday, the new carpet went down and my repairs seem to be holding their own. The new carpet is so soft. What else have I been up to?? Gaming mostly. I bought the RPG Sacred in Sydney and have been playing this on my 'puter. I bought Dark Messiah (Might and Magic) and have been playing this on Deb's puter as my DVD drive is dead on this one and today I started playing X-Men Legends 2- Thi Rise of Apocalypse on this 'puter. Though the controls sucketh, I have been having fun with the game as you can form those teams of X-men and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants on the same side. I have also been reading since I picked myself up a huge amount of books. I have been reading the last two books in the Dreaming Gods series by David and Leigh Eddings since I was able to tag these. I tagged the last book in the Dune series, the new one written by the son of Frank Herbert. I started the first chapter of this and then realized I do not have the one that comes before it so I have to hold off reading it. Bitch, bum, bugger!! If you know anything about moi, you know that the Dune series was one of those lots of books I sought solace in during the crap of my childhood. It is one of the reasons I survived I guess. I also tagged Jimmy the Hand, the book from the Legends of Riftwar series. A collection of short comic fantasy books that has one written by Neil Gaiman. And one of the things that has me so excited is that I was able to tag a new Elric of Meliborne(sp) book by Michael Moorcock. This is so damned cool because the Elric books and the Runestaff books were another lot of books that are very important to me due to being able to hide out in them while growing up. I also tagged an illustrated encyclopedia of the Marvel Universe that list over 1000 heroes and villains of the Marvel Universe, listing their stats, powers, history etc. This thing is huge. My heart almost stopped when I saw it. I had to get it. They also had one of Superman and SpiderMan. They had one of Conan as well so I grabbed that too!!!. I also was able to tag a Justice League collected comic. We hit Toys r Us in Paramatta and I got myself a plastic replica set or Roronoa Zolo's three swords from One Piece. I had to stop myself from buying the extending arms with giant fists they had for Monkey P Loofy(sp). I did grab myself a Longshot figure as he has to be my fav X-men character of all time. There was so much I wanted there, hehehehehe. I guess it was fun to embrace my big kid side. One thing we also grabbed from this awesome store is a ceramic vampire skull that is engraved with celtic knots and other designs. It looks like something a necromancer would have in his/her lab. I also got a black ceramice covered book that is filled with blank pages. It has an embossed dragon on the front cover and the back cover has a raised design. It looks like a grimore or a beastiry so I am going to do some of my dragon designs in it. Yesterday the business cards Deb ordered for Treasures from the Troll's Cave (my business) came. They have my details on them and have my tollish seal of approval on one side. (the one that is on my id page).. It felt so cool being able to have my own business card. It lists me as an Artist/Author for the business. I really cannot think what else to put. I am going to go wander off for a bit. I shall return. the troll (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 5th, 2008
11:27 am	Home again, home again, jiggerdy jig!!! Hi Honey, I am home!!! Did ya miss me??? So yesterday we got back from the Sydney trip. It was an awesome trip. New toys, new 'puter games, lots of new reading material, lots of good food eaten, Deb got her nails done, all was so good. I will go into details later if any one wants. I am excited about what I was able to get up there. I think we managed to tag more cool things this time than we did last time. Don't get me wrong, we were so tired when we got back, I also found I have a blood clot in my left arm just under the skin and a strange lump in my right shoulder that hurts like hell and is causing me to lose strength in the right arm and hand and Deb's treatment hurt as usual and all things like that, but we did so well together up there. I also came up with some new sketch ideas, did some writting that covers all nine or so long form works that the Epic is part of the series of so that was hugely amazing. We met some cool people, found lots of stuff we want to save up for and found lots of places we have to check out next time. We also decided that even if we don't have money to spend like this time, I am still going to try and make the trip every time Deb does. We did not hit all the places we were planning to hit or have all the foods we were planning on having, but what we did and where we went and what we ate made up for what we did not. Ladies and Jellybeans, I have to say here and now, my wife rocks, she is the most beautiful woman I know, she is an incredible Muse, sexy as hell and I love her more and more each day!!!!!. And just think, it is our ninth wedding aniversary on the first of next month. That makes about fourteen or more years together, give or take. Now, I am done rambling........... For now. I have to go check what all you guys have been up to as knowing you guys through live journal, I know there is going to be a lot to catch up on. I decided to use the Dune Kitteh icon for this post. There is a reason. Ask moi and I might tell ya. the happy and home troll... (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 30th, 2008
1:22 am	sleep over.... It seems so weird to me even as I type this, but I am having a sleep over in my own home with my wife, lol. I am at the family home. The boys are away and I am spending the night here. We had pizza, finally watched House of 1000 Corpses and some Stargate Atlantis and Law and Order Criminal Intent. Going to go back to the flat later in the day, grab some clothes, wash em, dry em and pack em. Monday, 10am we will be on the coach and on the way to Sydney. So, will be offline for a few days peoples. I hope you can survive without me, heheheheheh. the troll (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 28th, 2008
6:15 am	:) Today Deb and I go pick up our tickets for the Sydney trip. I guess I forgot to mention that Deb and I are going away to Sydney again. She drops the boys off in Shep on Saturday. SUnday we pack, Monday we spend most of the day on a coach and then a train, not getting into Sydney until Monday night, about 9:00pm. We spend three days in Sydney, shopping, eatting food we like, then on Friday it is back on the train and then the coach for hours. So I will be out of contact for a few days starting Monday. I went to the docs yesterday. I am now on high blood pressure medication as my blood pressure has ben real high. I am waiting to have my flu vacination and should be having that in two weeks. You guys did not keep your fingers crossed for me. I can tell because I did not get my lap top and external hard drive. I could not get the finance for it as they do not offer finance for online orders. No where on the site did they mention this. Ah well. I gotta go eat and get ready to go get the tickets. I shall return. the troll (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 24th, 2008
10:59 pm	the simple pleasures in life.... One of the things I enjoy so much in this life is flirting with my wife and watching her blush. Knowing that I am the cause of that blush due to a touch or kissing the side of her throar or whispering into her ear just feels me with such happiness. that is all I really wanted to say. I may come back and update in more detail. I may not. I may choose to lay down and think of my wife and hope for those dreams that make me wake up shivering in excitement. the troll (6 Comments |Comment on this)
3:02 am	:/ I hope those who celebrate it had a happy Zombie Jesus/Pagan Rabbit/Spring Equinox celebration. For me, something happened that showed the boys are not interested in having me come back.. To go over it quickly, on Good Friday, the eldest took off to his friend's house and did not come back until midnite even though I had come up to do the family thing. Today(yesterday) Deb came up, bringing the Speed Racer tin I had picked myself up for Easter. It contained eggs. I am sitting there holding it when I realize that not only is it open, that someone had pulled off the tape that had held it closed. I open it up and there are only three eggs left inside. There were supposed to be more. Now I bought Xander his own eggs, got him a new Bionicle figure and yet he still stole something he knew was for me. Just another example of him going out of his way to do hurtful things. He keeps taking stuff that Deb bought me and breaking them or taking them and stashing them. I can understand that when I was living with him, he was angry about me losing my temper and shouting when I lost it due to anxiety attacks and all that, but I have not been there for almost eight months and he has not been yelled at or anything like that and he is still doing these things. If stealing was the worse of it, I guess it would not be so hard. But the fact he stole and flushed my meds, knowing that they were the things that kept me out of pain, stable, less anxious etc,etc and the fact he brought things he knew I was allergic to and hid them next to where I slept and things like that, I am worried. People keep saying, he is just nine, but how long will it be before he is in his teens and still doing this?? Will it still be acceptable. I know people deal with things differently, but I know that when I was a kid, being beaten, sexually abused and tortured, I did not try to do these kind of things. Nor did I throw one of the cats so hard into a wall that she is still crippled, nor did I punch a cat in the head or hold a pillow over one or hit the dog hard with a plastic sword. Okies, I better take a breath. I guess I am just worried. Tuesday I talk to the people I am getting the laptop (and other stuff) from and will be talking over finance. Please keep your fingers crossed for me as a laptop will be a huge help for the writting and finishing the Epic as I will be able to still work when my back is hurting too much to sit up at the desktop one. Big love to you guys. I am going to go finish reading Polar City Nightmare (Katherine Kerr) and may read some more of Brother Odd (Dean Koontz) and knock over some more of the anniversay collection of Conan tales. I am a little energised due to the chicken thighs braised in tomato and chilli sauce with the whole pickled chillis in it. Chillis have a habit of doing that to my head. I guess the fact they do the same thing as chocolate and sex probably helps. :) I shall return. the troll (2 Comments |Comment on this)